In the spring of 1990 I was very excited about my dojangs upcoming belt promotion ceremony, mostly because I was about to receive my brown belt and considered this quite an accomplishment after only a few short years. It was a Friday night and I was driving to the dojang and when I turned the corner, I couldn't believe my eyes. Where my school once stood was now a building with two hollowed out holes where the windows once were and the red brick on the outside was now black.

I stopped my car and rolled up the window because I knew that I was going to scream and I didnt want anyone to hear me. The scream was rising up out of me like some force I was unable to control as a stared at the black skull with hollowed out eyes where my heart used to be. I didnt know what to do. There was a police barrier around the building and I ran to the nearest phone booth and began to call people. No one was home and I ran to the pizza restaurant that one of our students fathers owned. He recognized me, held me and let me know that the building was empty at the time and everyone was okay. When I asked what happened, he told me that they believe a gang of boys who had a fight with one of our students earlier in the day, came back that night and torched the dojang. They threw small home-made bombs through the windows and poured gasoline through the vents in the ceiling so she not only caught on fire but became a literal inferno.

For months, every day, I visited the dojang and just sat inside this big black charcoaled room with our teacher, his dad, and lots of students and people from the neighborhood who came to see what happened and to offer their help and support. One afternoon, the teacher found outside what was once the front door, a sign. It was a note from an anonymous person written in blue magic marker on the back of a pizza box filled with hope and inspiration for us to carry on.

I could see that this moved our teacher very much and he wanted to know who left such encouraging words at our portal but I dont think we ever found out. He took the sign in his hands and gave it to me. "Stevi, take this and keep this for me. Take good care of it," he said. "I will", I replied and I walked away knowing that I was now responsible for something that was suddenly very precious and sentimental to my Master.

One year later, we officially re-opened the school and it was an incredible feeling holding classes again. On opening day I presented our teacher with a glass-encased note on a pizza box which I had hand framed by a local Japanese artist. He hung it proudly inside our new dojang. As we started reciting our school motto, everyone facing the American and Korean flags and holding our hands above our hearts, I looked up at the beautifully framed, anonymous message on the wall as my eyes filled with tears and my spirit with happiness.

I soon moved to Houston with a company I was working for and had to leave the school. While in Houston, I met some terrific people and learned about their dojos, schools and philosophies. I met Sensei Gary Lee, who I sat and talked with for hours. Gary was very patient as I constantly rambled on about my painful past. I remember him being very compassionate. At the time, Gary had just finished working on the Chuck Norris movie, Sidekicks, and the school was crowded with a million kids.

Another school I visited was the school of Chinese Martial Arts and Medicine where I took a few lessons in Kung Fu and Tai Chi with Jeff Bolt. Jeff is very unassuming in nature and stance and very kind. I was immediately impressed by Jeff and his technique. I remember during one of the demonstrations, a fairly large guy started laughing as Jeff was talking to us about the size of a person not being of importance. Jeff stopped and turned to him and invited him to participate in an exercise. He agreed and as he approached Sifu, Jeff reached over with two fingers, and by shear mastery of his chi, he brought this huge man to one knee; the guy couldnt move. Jeff told him as long as he relaxed and didnt fight him, it wouldnt hurt. Believe me, that guy listened!

When I left Houston to return to the East Coast, I decided that I wanted to go back to graduate school and after leaving my job, with no insurance and no money, I discovered that I had breast cancer. The lump had been misdiagnosed when it was very tiny, and since I had no history in my family of cancer, I never imagined that thats what it could have been.

At that moment, my whole life changed. I remember driving to the beach and asking the universal question "why?". You can imagine the thoughts that start racing through your mind. Each day was more difficult than the next. The year to follow involved surgery, radiation and chemotherapy treatments. If it hadnt been for my training and my studies in martial arts, I dont know if I ever would have made it.

The simple act of breathing properly brought back an energy flow that that the anxiety of what I was going through had stopped. There were times when I was so upset I couldnt breathe, so I just closed my eyes and breathed the way I was taught, slowly, with control, in through my nose and out through my mouth. It helped immediately. I wasnt able to move my arm after the surgery and the process of tearing the muscles and re-training them was so painful I almost fainted at times. I remember my master in tae kwon do, telling me when I was breaking board to not stop to think of the board but to think past it, to think beyond it. To recognize it, my mind would stop there and I would never be able to kick through it. Once I understood the concept, and got the technique down, breaking board was no longer a stressful event, it was fun. Every time I wanted to stop the cancer treatments or not go to the hospital or the doctor because I was scared and couldnt take anymore, I would think passed it. The moment was something to think ahead of, because if I recognized it, I would not get passed it and it would continue to hurt mejust like breaking board.

There are a lot of challenges that we face daily in martial arts training, just as there are in real life. Real life doesnt often teach you how to deal with these challenges but martial arts can. Just as we pulled together and built a new school, like the Phoenix rising from the ashes, I tapped into that energy and used it to help save my life. Martial arts is a beautiful and real magical force. It can transform you and transcend you.

Time is an enigma to me these days as a single mother, but I have an appreciation and respect for martial arts that will be with me forever.

I continue to read about a variety of martial arts philosophies and have completed the manuscript for a novel titled "The Pegasus Doctrine" which involves fantasy, martial arts, mythology and the supernatural.